Obama Condoms

Jerry and I were taking a stroll through SoHo when we came across this guy displaying a cardboard sign over his head. We stopped for the light on the corner of Prince Street and Broadway. It wasn't much of anything until I overheard a bum releasing verbal slaps onto the cardboard sign bearer.

"You should be happy to have a black president!" exclaimed the bum, leaving behind his cart of soda cans and bottles to make sure he got a good look and a pointed finger in the face of his target.

The cardboard sign read, "Obama Condoms."

I was hesitant to flash a picture of the seller. I walked up and down the street twice trying to get the safest angle before it hit me to go and obtain a condom as definitive proof that there exists a guy on a corner in SoHo, New York wearing a cardboard sign which reads "Obama Condoms" and actually possesses such products.

I approached him.

"Where are you from?" he asked.

"Brooklyn," I replied.

"Really? Me too. What part?"

I realized the conversation was going in the wrong direction. His grin said it all.

I looked down inquisitively at the box he was holding. The left side was in fact filled with Obama Condoms. I imagined they're regular condoms housed in a decorative carton, the same way matchbooks are housed in cartons.

The right side of the box carried McCain Condoms and, to be fair, he mentioned he had Palin Condoms featuring an abortion message in his backpack.

He directed much of the focus to the assortment of sizes he carried…and, of course, Obama.

"One for five. Three for ten."

I thought about the single $1 bill in my back pocket. An Obama Condom was not worth a trip to the ATM. You'll just have to take my word for it.

I wished him luck and returned to my friend Jerry who had been waiting across the street. He initiated a homophobic rant about how "gay" I appeared from a distance for actually holding a conversation with this guy.

I couldn't help but wonder how many reactions he drew which were similar to the bum's. My idea is presidents are meant to be made fun of and popular presidents are meant to, well, sell stuff. It would be terribly discriminatory to deny Obama those privileges of the office because of the color of his skin.

However, selling condoms with someone's face on it is classic buffoonery no matter whose face it is. Everyone has got to eat somehow. At least they weren't Michael Jackson Condoms.